Women really respond to confidence. They are subconsciously looking for alpha males who are in control of their lives, as they types of partners tend to be good choices as mates and fathers. Since women do want to see confidence, learning how to start a conversation with a girl is largely about discovering the best ways to put across a sense of confidence which is unmistakable.
When a woman feels that you are confident, she will tend to open up. Your confidence will be perceived as masculine strength by her and this is a good thing!
So, what if you're not confident? Well, you can fake it until you make it! It all starts with eye contact. Strong eye contact is very indicative of confidence, so be sure and hold her gaze as you begin conversing with her for the first time. You shouldn't let your nervousness show, no matter how perfect and intimidating she might seem. Your gaze shouldn't be intense. You should just be looking at her and appearing happy to be in her presence.
She wants you to be strong and your uninterrupted eye contact will send her a clear message that you are bold and unafraid. Avoid checking out her body during this phase. It will turn her off! Plus, it's rude. Good manners will get your further.
Once you've held her gaze, avoid any cheesy lines. Girls know that some men are players and they anticipate getting bad lines. They see through that technique. Most women are not looking for players. They want to avoid bad experiences and players tend to deliver bad experiences to women. Therefore, avoid smooth lines at all costs.
A simple, “hi” or “hello” will get you further. Be sure and smile as you hold eye contact. She may also be feeling nervousness, so it will be up to you to move the conversation forward after she says, “hi” or “hello” in return! Your goal should be to make her happy and comfortable in your presence. The next step should be introducing yourself. Your first name is probably enough here. In most cases, she'll reciprocate by telling you her first name.
After this, things should get interesting. You'll need to hold her attention! You should look for signs of interest which are conveyed via her body language and eye contact. If her eyes dart around, away from you, or her body is arched away from you, it's not really a great sign. If she is interested in returning strong eye contact and her body stays in the same position as when the conversation started, or she moves closer to you, those are good signals.
Learn to pay attention to non-verbal cues, as these cues are as important to conversations as what is actually said. If you're getting eye contact and good overall body language, then it's time to pour on the charm. The best way to do this is to be yourself. For example, if you're waiting in line for a concert, make a comment about the band that you'll be seeing. You should relate your post-introduction comment to where you are and what you are both doing, whether it's lining up for a show, visiting the same art gallery or what have you. Being funny or witty is definitely helpful, but not necessary.
Talking about what's happening at the moment is the opposite of throwing her some “canned” line. It's more natural in terms of effect.
If she's interested, she should follow your remark with a thought or opinion of her own. Remember to listen carefully, rather than thinking ahead and planning out what you're going to say. Maintain eye contact and go from there. Don't push too hard. Be cool, be friendly and try to keep the conversation going, unless you see signs of disinterest. You should begin to sense whether or not she has a sincere interest in you or is just being polite. If she doesn't seem into it, don't push.
If you're approaching a girl online, you won't be able to use eye contact or analyze body language, unless you are using a Webcam. It's best to start things with a “hi” in chat and follow that up with a comment about your day or what you're doing or looking forward to. After you start chatting in earnest, be sure to ask her how she's feeling and what she's up to. Your interest in how she thinks and feels should always come through!
Most people really just want to find someone who will listen and who will care. Be that person for her.
Do You Need More Help?
If you want more help, you should know that a lot of men out there are using expert dating advisors. Advisors help them develop their conversational skills and attract more women. Most guys find experts' help extremely helpful, especially if they sometimes suffer from nervousness when talking to women. Getting advices from experts is becoming more mainstream and may be the key to unlocking true love or exploring less serious relationships with an array of attractive ladies for many guys.